February 2012
7 posts
HAPPY VALENCRIMES DAY!
In honor of this day of love, it’s high time we spill the beans that two members of Mr. Crime may or may not be romantically involved. We won’t tell you which two, but we highly encourage spreading whatever rumors you see fit. Happy gossiping!
This post will definitely not have any unforseen consquences!
New Team Podcast Episode 4
newteampodcast:
The amazing Zack Willis was in the living room last weekend. Watch for his awesome hour and 45 minute interview to come out on Monday.
Sneak peak quote:
“More than half of Mr. Crime’s audience reactions are scripted.”
Pulitzer Nomination
The Mr. Crime Gazette is proud to announce that we have been nominated for the Pulitzer Prize in Harold Team Journalism. We also extend congratulations to the other nominees:
Creature Feature
The Deckard Record
The Dance Breakdown
VGK Today
The Sandinographer
The Mikeroscene
Spreading the Ashes
We believe we speak for all these fine news sources when we say, “I’m so...
ANCHOR BOY IS BACK!!
We’re not gonna lie: some weird shit is going down at Anchor Boy headquarters. For the second week in a row, the classy, elegant ladies of Mr. Crime have anonymously filled out their Anchor Boy ballots. And for the second week in a row, the results have been nothing short of perplexing.
Last week, the lovely, justice-seeking ladies of Mr. Crime dismissed the results as a fluke. This week,...
SUBJECT: MRcrim3 up 2nd! Vi@@Gra!##
Dear Friend,
I am son of Nigerian Prince and I urgently request your Assistance. My father has fallen ill and I must transfer (URGENT!) his estate to a U.S. account to avoid it being stolen by bad people, banshees, etcetera. I am a resident of New York City (great American city!) but cannot transfer the money to my account because of laws and tax something something. If I may transfer the money...
January 2012
15 posts
“My staff tells me that Mr. Crime, a New York-based improv group, will be...”
– Newt Gingrich
Anchor Boy- Birthday Edition
This week’s Anchor Boy decision was really a non-decision. It was clearly going to be birthday boy, RILEY SOLONER!
Not only is it Riley’s birthday, but he is also a great guy! Riley had a fun show on Tuesday playing a coach that wanted his team to stop masturbating. He also played a sexy detective who unbuttoned his shirt to seduce an audience member into confessing.
Also, Karin...
Mr. Crime is back and ready to stampede into your...
Mr. Crime is up first at UCB Harold Night tonight and we’re gonna bring it DINOSAUR STYLE (i.e. BADASS, HUGE, and PUT HERE BY THE DEVIL TO MAKE YOU NOT BELIEVE IN GOD).
LATE BREAKING ANCHOR BOY!!!
Ahoy! After a “too close to call” anonymous vote forced the smart, hilarious, elegant ladies of Mr. Crime to anonymously hold a last-minute runoff between two leading candidates, we are thrilled to announce that this week’s Anchor Boy winner is … ALEXIS PEREIRA!
While many factors propelled Alexis into contention, such as his well-meaning consolation text to Kristen...
ANCHOR BOY!
The first Anchor Boy decision of 2012! What an exciting fun thing to have happen! The lovely, anonymous, hilarious, wonderful, warm, fun, and great ladies of Mr. Crime are excited to be back on track.
And this week’s Anchor Boy is Amos “Up For Anything” Vernon!!
First of all, Amos made Mr. Crime a drink that had rum and half and half in it. What? That’s crazy! How does...
OMG! It's ANCHOR BOY OF THE YEAR: 2011!!!
No, it is not Wednesday. That’s because Wednesday is reserved for REGULAR Anchor Boy announcements. And you are right, there has not been a regular Anchor Boy announcement for two weeks. But there is a reason. And the reason is that the elegant, glorious ladies of Mr. Crime have been anonymously immersed in the most rigorous anonymous voting process of all: Deciding who will be awarded the...
Question Form
I guess we have to make this in a question form so comments work.
Which Mr. Crimers do you think showered, showers at night, or does not shower at all?
The Results are IN For the Very Important Study
Yesterday, only 3 out of 8 Mr. Crimers took a shower. Here is the breakdown:
3 of them showered
3 of them claimed to be “night showers” so they were still clean
and 2 of them just didn’t take a shower.
Let the guessing commence.
FIRST HAROLD OF 2012
Brought to you by Mr. Crime.
Tonight at UCB Theater.
Let’s do the damn thing.
Important Study- Does Mr. Crime shower
Tonight an important study will take to place. The question:
Does Mr. Crime shower before rehearsal?
Most Mr. Crimers did not have to work today, so tonight is the perfect time for this important study.
Stayed tuned for the results.
WatchJust Call it Fun Facts #3: Riley Soloner
-Raised by hippies in the Bay Area.
-Works for a mobile pizza oven operation.
-Got choked up at the end of A.I. in the theatre. -His first date with his first girlfriend was eating Lunchables under a streetlamp. He was 16.
December 2011
13 posts
Well, someone has to be Anchor Boy!
Hello everyone, Patrick Noth here- President and sole voting member of The Committee to Elect Patrick Noth Anchor Boy.
First of all, updates: I have been the L.A. Anchor Boy since November 2, ever since I got serious about my career and moved to The Mr. Crime Gazette L.A. That’s EIGHT WEEKS. And guess what? My career is taking off! Here’s a pic of me in the editing room, working on...
Anchor Boy- Holiday Edition!
That’s right, Anchor Boy Holiday Edition. This definitely doesn’t have anything to do with the lovely anonymous ladies of Mr. Crime getting too busy yesterday and not posting Anchor Boy. This was a carefully planned decision to announce Anchor Boy on the same day as the Mr. Crime Holiday Extreme Ultra Bonanza Dance Party. And this week’s Anchor Boy is…. PAUL HIGBIE!!!
As...
Happy Birthday Patrick Noth from Patrick Noth
Happy Birthday to the wonderful Patrick Noth, from me Patrick Noth! I am 57 years old today.
Patrick Noth out.
Anchor Boy! Holy Moly!
It’s Wednesday, and you know what that means! Time to crown this week’s Anchor Boy! With a special trip to D.C. adding many special “boy moments” to the mix, the classy, elegant ladies of Mr. Crime found themselves anonymously voting in a hotly contested race. But, as always, one super courteous Mr. Crime fella managed to claw his way to the top, and that fella is named...
Fuck gender roles, Kristen for Anchor Boy.
If Kristen has taught me anything, it’s that gender roles are for fools. The anonymous ladies of Mr. Crime should make her Anchor Boy for once and take their own advice to heart.
She is always funny, and always nice. KRISTEN FOR ANCHOR BOY!!!
Mr. Crime takes DC
Mr. Crime traveled to the great city of Washington, DC this weekend to perform at Washington Improv Theater.
Here is a classic blurry picture of pointing to their name on a sign before the show.
The crowd was amazing, and Mr. Crime did a 38-minute harold. A true dream come true. Thanks to WIT!
On Sunday they went down to the mall and learned some history. They did NOT do any bits at the...
The JOHN ADAMS of Harold Night
You could say that tonight Mr. Crime will be the JOHN ADAMS of Harold Night.
WHY?
Because we will be performing with an intense passion equal to, if not surpassing, William Daniels’ performance in 1776, the musical.
And in an outlandish coincidence we are also second.
Secret Santa Strikes Alexis
A few hours before Mr. Crime killed it at the Washington Improv Theater this Saturday night, I decided to go into my bag and fill my head with a little NY Times. Instead of clothes, deodorant and my Beretta 418, I was greeted by a small bag full of DVDs and a book.
“Whoops, this isn’t mine,” I thought, and I closed it.
Looking around at my fellow Mr. Crimers’ bags in the...
November 2011
19 posts
Anchor Boy Slot!
It’s Wednesday! Or what some have petitioned the US Government to call this day of the week, ANCHOR BOY DAY! It must be the holiday spirit from picking Mr. Crime Secret Santas running through the lovely, anonymous ladies of Mr. Crime, but they agree with Patrick Noth’s suggestion, and they have chosen his Secret Santa as Anchor Boy, AMOS VERNON!
Now the lovely, gorgeous, HUMBLE,...
Brown's Mumbler: Workshop by Christian Capozzoli →
gilmoregurlz:
coreybrown:
I HIGHLY endorse this guy.
MESSAGE ME TO RESERVE A SLOT!!! 5 LEFT Christian Capozzoli has created and toured with 4TRACK, performing and instructing workshops exploring his “Aerodynamics of Yes” at improv festivals, schools and corporations all over North America, including Second City. He…
me too! i endorse him too! sign up, gang!
Mr. Crime has had Christian...
An Anonymous Holiday Message for the Classy...
I, the secret santa, officially and anonymously and respectfully endorse AMOS VERNON as the next anchor boy of Mr. Crime. He deserves it because I, the secret santa, drew AMOS VERNON’S name out of the hat and now I am tasked to bestow him with joy and gifts until the secret santa time is over.
This anonymously and officially counts as one (1) gift.
Love,
Patrick Noth,...
Which came first?
NO ONE KNOWS!
But one of the above three will certainly perform first at UCB Harold Night tonight!
(hint: it is the chicken)
Anchor Boy: Thanksgiving Edition
WEDNESDAY! ANCHOR BOY! ANONYMOUS LOVELY LADIES OF MR. CRIME VOTING.
You know the drill, kiddies. It’s that time, and this week the elegant, classy, hilarious ladies of Mr. Crime are anonymously thankful for….. ALEXIS PEREIRA.
Look how bashful he is being! Alexis clinched Anchor Boy this week because he is always so gracious to whomever wins Anchor Boy. He keeps it complimentary and...
Mr. Crime is back and ready to tear your face off...
This is not a figure of speech. Mr. Crime is up second at Harold Night this evening and instead of doing improv, we’ll be ripping off your faces and eating them. That said, in order to appease Nate Dern, the style in which we do the ripping and gnawing will of course be inspired by an audience suggestion.
We’ve gotten very hungry in the past two weeks.
"Just call it Fun Facts" #2: Kristen Acimovic
-Is a massive, massive Broncos fan.
-Reads lots of fantasy, sci fi, and young adult literature. She wrote her college thesis on Walt Whitman’s Leaves of Grass.
-Her spirit animal is a white wolf. She has always intuitively known this (though it has been corroborated by several online quizzes).
-Has a hubai high red belt in Hapkido. She started taking martial arts because of an episode...
Anchor Boy! The Dynasty Begins?
It’s Wednesday, or as it’s known in Mr. Crimeville, Official Anchor Boy Announcement Day!!! Please join the elegant, classy ladies of Mr. Crime in congratulating ZACK WILLIS, who has clinched the coveted title for an unprecedented third time!
Zack’s journey to Titletown wasn’t difficult. In fact, with all the boys phoning it in lately, he hardly had to do anything at all...
Someone knocked down our photo and broke the frame
That frame was first owned by John Adams and cost us $190,000. I hope you’re happy.
R.I.P. Mr. Frame
1775-2011
Anchor Boy!
It’s Wednesday, and we all know what Wednesday means in Mr. Crime land. It’s time to name a new Anchor Boy. And this week the anonymous lovely ladies of Mr. Crime are happy to announce…. RILEY SOLONER as Anchor Boy! He has topped the charts this week of the seemingly random and ever changing criteria it takes to become Anchor Boy!
Riley won over the ladies this week with his...
Fifth Slot Raffle!
Mr. Crime is capping off UCB Harold Night tonight in the sexy fifth slot.
In honor of this, there will be a raffle after our set for an EXCITING ONE-OF-A-KIND PRIZE! Tickets are FREE and will be distributed to the reservation and standby lines!
WHAT WILL THE PRIZE BE???
????????????????
Happy Birthday, Amos!
Amidst all this Anchor Boy drama it’s important to remember it’s also AMOS VERNON’S BIRTHDAY!
WatchRILEY HAS WORDS OF WISDOM TO DROP ON PATRICK NOTH.
DUHDUHDUHDUHDUH
Watch
